With the ratification of Fair Work
Australia’s award system, pricing for coffee will have to alter.
Now follow carefully.
A normal coffee served Monday to Friday
between 7am and 10pm will be $3.80 with a wage component of $1.20. However if
that coffee is served after 10pm then add 12c to make it $3.92 and if served
after 12 midnight add another 5% or 18c to make the price
$3.98.
But, if that coffee is served on Saturday
add 30c to give a total of $4.10 and $4.25 and $4.55 for service times from 10pm
to 12 midnight and 12 midnight to 7am respectively.
For Sunday add 60c making the normal coffee
$4.40 with time allowances altering the price to $4.58 and $4.87
respectively.
Be prepared with your credit card for public
holidays because the new price of coffee will be $5.60 plus allowances for times
making the sell price $5.90 and $6.05.
Now for each of those prices we need to add
meal allowance, uniform allowance and a split shift allowance but as these will
be venue specific we cannot include it albeit be prepared to add 23c for a meal
allowance, 11c for a spit shift and another 5c for
uniform.
Therefore a cup of coffee will now be priced
between $3.80 and $6.44 to keep in line with the wage structure Fair Work
Australia had deemed appropriate.
We are a God fearing Christian country
celebrating Sunday as a day of rest and penalising those nefarious and pesky
coffee shops and indeed their errant heathen customers for serving anything
outside of the church’s reflective hours. Sorry about you Jews but you only get
minor penalties, not the full bottle Christian penalties. Also sorry, but the
rest of you minor God people don’t score penalties unless they happen to fall on
Saturday or Sunday. If they do, then feel free to claim them as your own. Pity
about all the other religions; casualty of God’s wage war I
suppose.
Please ignore the cost of administering this
system as you will end up paying for it anyway by one means or another. Sorry
about that but we believe in really complicated wage systems designed to ruin
weekend business, destroy tourism and limit casual employment to Christian God
fearing hours.
Jon
Langevad
Deco Bistro
Port Melbourne
