Tuesday, April 28, 2009

CREATING A SUPPORTIVE SOCIETY

At what point do we as a society admonish the fools whose sole objective is to foster their own ego and/or pockets without a care as to the emotional, societal or financial damage they cause?
We could be talking about global politics [Zimbabwe for example], how our kids are brought up at home and school , people doing horrible things in our lovely city at night, pontificating politicians or indeed those who write so-called reviews. All these people seem to get their jollies from creating misery as all seem to denigrate and castigate rather than build and support.
We love to pontificate about Robert Mugabe and his evil and malicious empire-ette but at the same time readily accept the fact that our kids develop their ego or spot in the world by stomping on some other kid. Go figure. Likewise, there are people in our society who want to see others fail; they thrive on any show, press or reviews which castigate and destroy. The reviewer actually makes a living out of pandering to these people. Not much of a life me thinks.
Despite negative press about ‘Ego’, it is undoubtedly the most important thing we possess. It defines us as individuals, our place in the world, how we perceive others and eventually how we actually treat others. A strong ego forges our way through the world because we are comfortable within our own skin and don’t ‘need’ to prove ourselves at the expense of others. A fractured ego, on the other hand, hurts, destroys and reduces our world to their base level.
For years during management training we used to separate out two group members and ask the remainder to hide something in the room. We then invited the first person back in to find the ‘thing’. A rolled newspaper was used to hit him every time he went in the wrong direction and time taken was recorded. Anger and stubbornness prevailed. We then invited the second person back into the room to find the same ‘thing’ after it had been re-hidden in the same spot. This time he was ‘clapped’ every time he went in the right direction. Joy and laughter prevailed. The ‘clapped’ person always took half the time to find the ‘thing’ and it still works even if you know what’s coming. The obvious moral is - support people to achieve and they will but castigate people for being rat-bags and they will be.
What’s happened to our society that allows the rolled newspaper approach? Simple, there is an entrenched culture of ‘me me me’ at any physical, emotional or financial cost. A culture we must change if we are to survive. Mugabe is about ‘me me me’, the school bully is about ‘me me me’ and the reviewer is about ‘me me me’. Every time we delve onto the wrong side, we denigrate our own ego – we chisel a chunk off – we become ‘less’. Whacking someone down to the level of one’s own fragile ego does nothing for the whacker or the whackee.
As a possible solution why don’t we ask all 19 year olds to perform say 50 hours of community service and have everyone from then on complete just 10 hours a year; at least until they become the recipient of that service themselves. Wow! A trillion hours of ‘giving’ a year for the benefit of our community plus the immeasurable benefits to each individual through and by the development of empathy, thought and understanding of others.
We need to change.

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