THE FUTURE ADF

 

Maybe I am living on a different planet or a hidden universe but I read proper journalists [The Australian] discuss our navy and general preparedness to protect ourselves and to offer support for ‘friends’ in conflict [ditto army and air force] and am gobsmacked by the way people in charge of the ADF – including politicians - talk in decades for any discernible action and billions of dollars in ‘blow out costs’ even before the event and ‘with a straight face’. 

DEAR AUSTRALIAN,

‘Ah yes, with forward estimates we will have another dinghy by 2050 but this time with a sharp throwing anchor to be propelled by a large albeit low ranked fluid gender navy person which will result in the enemy fleeing for their lives leaving behind their larger dinghy which we will purloin and fit out with another sharp anchor. This will continue until we have a fleet of 11 dinghies and be fully protected against ICBM’s, deep space laser warfare and the omnipresent mouth dribbling hordes waiting to live the good life off the sheep’s back after we are removed to dinghy land where we can live full and wholesome lives albeit sans food or water that will be mercifully quite short as 25 million people to an acre may prove a bit of overcrowding.  But, the army are also going to receive sharp throwing sticks to repel those same hordes by 2060 albeit with expected cost blowouts only one soldier in 10 will receive such an advanced weapon whilst the others will practice shouting profanities which will distract the enemy, making them all over emotional and leave our shores to cry in their home cave in abject misery and despair.  But the most advanced weaponry will be funded to the air force.  By 2070 each and every airman will have their very own cardboard drone [just one] with optional drop bomb albeit forward estimate blowouts may mean we have to cancel the bomb part.  In this case the drones will zoom in on the enemy and scare them to death or force them to run for their lives past the fleet of 11 sharp anchored dinghies which will decimate their retreat with precision anchor throwing.’ 

A POLITICIAN

Not so funny!

It seems we are going about this locked into a self defeating cycle with priorities about face. 

Priority ‘1’ must be to protect our homeland from any aggression.  This through defense weapons capable of shooting down any inbound missile or plane before reaching Australia.    This is a no-brainer!  It’s not aggressive just defensive but it must be strong enough to deter others aggression.  Banks of missiles spread all over Australia -  made here under license if necessary perhaps in a couple of empty car manufacturing plants we happen to have.  How about a threepeny bunger on the front of a scram jet?  If some of those scram defense weapons happened to have a range of say 10,000 km and tootle along at mach 24 it just might deter the bad guys.

Priority ‘2’ must be to make us capable of supporting our ‘friends’ in the event of conflict as we have always done.  Sharp anchors and throwing sticks just don’t cut it especially when the need is now, not in 20 years time.  I probably can’t see the complexities but it seems to me we can do two things in the immediate short term.  Firstly invite all our friends into Australia’s north for permanent placement and practice war games – BYO dinghy and sharp anchors or perhaps an aircraft carrier or two and a few nuclear armed submarines with signs hand written on the hull ‘gone fishin’ off Darwin protecting the indo-pacific from the aforementioned dribbling hordes.  Then we have a window to lease/ buy/build our own fleet of not dinghies.  Keep in mind that if Victoria had not had a failed premier [Andrews] we could have offered some $20+ million dollars a day to this cause and that is just the interest on his / our capacious debt. At say a billion dollars each our debt in Victoria alone in just interest would build a new warship every few weeks.  Sort of brings things into perspective doesn’t it.

Think NOW not long term and take responsibility rather than pontificate at length about ‘look at me as I’m doing something’ when you know you will never have to be accountable.